They're Listening and They're Learning

Ever since I became pregnant, my husband and I have spent a lot of time discussing parenting. What we should do, what we should watch for, what is off limit in front of children. One of the things I've always stressed was absolutely no arguing in the presence of our son. Sometimes we do well, other times we fail but we try to do our best to minimize any loud and angry tones.

Today, I came across an article on Huffington Post which discussed a study being conducted at the University of Oregon. Researchers scanned the brains of 20 sleeping infants and recorded their reactions to hearing different tones.


Here's what they found:

"Graham and her colleagues scanned the brains of 20 sleeping infants, ages 6 months to 12 months, using functional magnetic resonance imaging (a technique that measures blood flow as a proxy for brain activity). Inside the scanner, the babies heard nonsense sentences spoken by a male adult in very angry, mildly angry, happy or neutral tones.

The sleeping infants' brains showed distinct patterns of activity corresponding to each different emotional tone, the study revealed. Compared with babies raised in healthy homes, infants in high-conflict homes (as reported by their mothers) had a greater response to the very angry voice in brain regions involved in stress and emotion regulation — the rostral anterior cingulated cortex, the caudate, the thalamus and the hypothalamus. Previous studies in animals indicated that these regions show effects of early life stress on development, and this study suggests human babies may experience a similar phenomenon.

The findings suggest babies are aware of parental conflicts and that these conflicts may affect how the infants' brains handle stress and emotion, Graham said."

It is very surprising to find that what happens when babies are sleeping also affects their neurological development. I guess from now on, we'll have to take our arguments outside. Literally.

How do you avoid arguments in front of your children?  

Therapeutic Art

I was having such a stressful day yesterday with having to go to a co-worker's birthday party (with baby, who decided to nap right as it was his bath time!), being responsible for picking up the food for this party and lets just be honest, whenever you have to go out with a baby in Chicago's awful winter, it's just plain stressful!

After being out most of the afternoon, we come home and my son decides to become my third leg. He wouldn't let me put him down, was unusually cranky and I was hungry (which is never a good combination).

While looking for something on the dresser, I found this goodie bag my son had received at a birthday part a few weeks ago. On looking inside, I found a coloring book and 4 crayons.

I decided to use this opportunity to show my son how to color. Of course, all he wanted to do was to eat the crayons but we (I) managed to do a pretty decent job.

It was such a wonderful stress reliever. I felt so much better after this little activity, it was amazing. I even felt good enough to make myself some dinner!

I've heard a lot about the therapeutic effects of art and even had done research in one of my Psychology classes in college but never really paid much attention to it. Yesterday's five minute activity has made me a believer.

So next time your children are driving you nuts, gather them together and have a "creativity session". You can color, draw, create. Do whatever your heart desires and I promise you, you will feel better (for five minutes, or until the next argument, whichever comes first!).

Hey, you can't have it all!

What do you do to relieve stress?

Oh How Fast They Grow!

Dear Son sprouted his first tooth a few days ago and that has thrown me into a very nostalgic mood. Tonight I spent hours going through all his pictures and videos, marveling (and crying) over the fact that he is growing up so fast. It feels like just yesterday that I held him in my arms for the first time, kissing his tiny fingers and toes, and now, I’m already planning his first birthday party! Time has flown and I didn’t even notice its passing. 

A few months ago when I made the decision to quit my job and stay home with my baby, knowing that I may fall behind in my career, I never could have realized how much I was going to gain. 

Every day, he makes new discoveries and I have been there for each one. The first time he smiled, laughed, tried solids, rolled over, sucked on his big toe (something I was waiting for very patiently!), and his newest trick, learning how to crawl. It is marvelous how everything we take for granted, things we don’t even think twice about, are such sources of joy for my little guy. 

His eyes light up as he spots his favorite toy. His ears perk up as he hears the garage door open knowing that Baba is home. How he will bend over backwards trying to catch a glimpse of the TV (he’s not supposed to watch!). How he makes a funny face when he tries new foods and then asks for more. The way he reaches for me when he’s done playing and wants to be picked up. If I had continued to work, not only would I have missed a lot of these little things but I may have been too exhausted to fully enjoy him.

It has been 8 months of sheer exhaustion, sleep deprivation and JOY. He is the center of my universe, the apple of my eye. I could be having the crappiest day and then, he will smile (his one toothed smile) and all becomes well.

My career can wait but my son’s childhood will not.

Ramblings on Death

The Story of Passing

I remember so well the day my grandmother passed away. It was New Year’s Eve and it is so perfectly imprinted in my brain that I can never forget that day or how I felt.  My siblings and I were at our cousin’s house for a sleepover to ring in the New Year. My brother got a phone call and I remember I had a slice of Jalapeno pizza in my hand. I was about to take a bite when my brother hung up the phone and told us the news. I was stunned. She was ill but no matter how much you prepare for it, death is always a surprise. It was like an out of body experience. I remember just sitting there, with my mouth still open, poised to take a bite out of the pizza. I never did take that bite.

We all went home and sat together and talked and fell asleep wherever we were sitting. Our parents didn’t wake us, like they always would, to send us to our rooms. Instead, they just let us be. I remember when I woke up the next morning; it took a moment to remember what had happened. I laid there for a long time just thinking how curl this world is, how heartlessly it moves on like nothing has happened. No matter how big the tragedy, the sun always rises. 

That is the reality of it all. My grandmother was gone, she was dead. I hadn’t seen her in four years and now I was never going to see her again. This was a tragedy; the world should have stopped spinning. The sun shouldn’t have risen. 

But it did. 

The world kept on spinning and the sun continued to rise, oblivious to the pain it caused. And those of us who are left behind, we have to move on with the world or else, we become worse than the dead. We become the living dead, covered in the dust of time yet untouched by its healing hand. We slowly turn into stone, until death comes to, finally, shatter our statue and releases our tortured soul.