Occupational Hazards

Motherhood is a dangerous job. I always knew that it would be tough, but I never realized the dangers that come with the territory.

In the past few weeks, I have endured the following:

• Been repeatedly bitten by a teething baby. And, those bites HURT! No, seriously, they do. If you don't believe me, watch this.
• Been scratched. Repeatedly. With trimmed nails that never lose their dagger like sharpness. 
• Had my hair pulled out from the roots. I think I'm already half bald. Good thing I wear a Hijab*, I guess. 
  
• Been woken up 1,000 times during the night by a teething baby who just wanted to be held. Yes, as soon as I picked him up, he was sleeping again. I, on the other hand, was not.
• Haven't had a full night sleep (read "a good night") sleep in nine (9) months.
• Woken up to a warm, fuzzy feeling only to realize that the diaper leaked (we co-sleep). On my bed, on my clothes, on my comforter. Oh, how laundry has become my new best friend.
• Have sprinted across the house, out of shower, and out of the bathroom at the sound of a crying baby only to find the baby sound asleep. (Yes, I do own and use a baby monitor but you cannot ignore a mother's intuition.) 

All this, coupled with the normal stresses of life, is enough to drive anyone insane. But, in the past 9 months, I have also learned something very peculiar. On the days I'm most irritable, he does the most adorable things. I would be huffing and puffing around the house, holding onto the last teeny tiny thread of my patience, and he will go and do something so cute that all my frustration and irritability will just vanish!

Like today, he found his way to the kitchen garbage can. This doesn't seem like something awesome or funny but what really made me laugh was how he did it. He had watched me open the can with my foot to throw away some trash yesterday and today as soon as he spotted the little foot-presser thingy, he made a beeline for it from across the living room--crawling UNDER a CHAIR and then plopping on his belly right in front of the can and began pressing the foot-press with his little hand to get it to open! How quickly he learns! That just melted my heart.

Motherhood comes with good, bad, horrible and just down right terrible days but even the most terrible day can be turned around by focusing on the little things. There are no sick days, vacations or paid lunches or even bathroom breaks (although they would be nice) but there are plenty of wet kisses, cuddles, and hugs to make it all worthwhile. 

What do you try to focus on to keep yourself sane? 

*The scarf Muslim women use to cover their hair.

They're Listening and They're Learning

Ever since I became pregnant, my husband and I have spent a lot of time discussing parenting. What we should do, what we should watch for, what is off limit in front of children. One of the things I've always stressed was absolutely no arguing in the presence of our son. Sometimes we do well, other times we fail but we try to do our best to minimize any loud and angry tones.

Today, I came across an article on Huffington Post which discussed a study being conducted at the University of Oregon. Researchers scanned the brains of 20 sleeping infants and recorded their reactions to hearing different tones.


Here's what they found:

"Graham and her colleagues scanned the brains of 20 sleeping infants, ages 6 months to 12 months, using functional magnetic resonance imaging (a technique that measures blood flow as a proxy for brain activity). Inside the scanner, the babies heard nonsense sentences spoken by a male adult in very angry, mildly angry, happy or neutral tones.

The sleeping infants' brains showed distinct patterns of activity corresponding to each different emotional tone, the study revealed. Compared with babies raised in healthy homes, infants in high-conflict homes (as reported by their mothers) had a greater response to the very angry voice in brain regions involved in stress and emotion regulation — the rostral anterior cingulated cortex, the caudate, the thalamus and the hypothalamus. Previous studies in animals indicated that these regions show effects of early life stress on development, and this study suggests human babies may experience a similar phenomenon.

The findings suggest babies are aware of parental conflicts and that these conflicts may affect how the infants' brains handle stress and emotion, Graham said."

It is very surprising to find that what happens when babies are sleeping also affects their neurological development. I guess from now on, we'll have to take our arguments outside. Literally.

How do you avoid arguments in front of your children?  

Oh How Fast They Grow!

Dear Son sprouted his first tooth a few days ago and that has thrown me into a very nostalgic mood. Tonight I spent hours going through all his pictures and videos, marveling (and crying) over the fact that he is growing up so fast. It feels like just yesterday that I held him in my arms for the first time, kissing his tiny fingers and toes, and now, I’m already planning his first birthday party! Time has flown and I didn’t even notice its passing. 

A few months ago when I made the decision to quit my job and stay home with my baby, knowing that I may fall behind in my career, I never could have realized how much I was going to gain. 

Every day, he makes new discoveries and I have been there for each one. The first time he smiled, laughed, tried solids, rolled over, sucked on his big toe (something I was waiting for very patiently!), and his newest trick, learning how to crawl. It is marvelous how everything we take for granted, things we don’t even think twice about, are such sources of joy for my little guy. 

His eyes light up as he spots his favorite toy. His ears perk up as he hears the garage door open knowing that Baba is home. How he will bend over backwards trying to catch a glimpse of the TV (he’s not supposed to watch!). How he makes a funny face when he tries new foods and then asks for more. The way he reaches for me when he’s done playing and wants to be picked up. If I had continued to work, not only would I have missed a lot of these little things but I may have been too exhausted to fully enjoy him.

It has been 8 months of sheer exhaustion, sleep deprivation and JOY. He is the center of my universe, the apple of my eye. I could be having the crappiest day and then, he will smile (his one toothed smile) and all becomes well.

My career can wait but my son’s childhood will not.